A Kidney Donor Story

by: Bogs Dancel

Before the news of Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez having a kidney transplant courtesy of his long-time driver, I have a friend who also made the great sacrifice of donating his kidney to someone who is not even related by blood or affinity. Despite opposition by family and friends, this friend of mine had the courage to undergo the knife, a kind heart to care of someone in need and a steadfast faith to let God’s will be done.

Here is his inspiring story:

“Suki! Bili! Bili! Bili na kayo! Murang-mura, fresh na fresh pa.”

“Magkano?”
“Sampung libo, lang”

“Ha?!”
“Ang mahal naman? Ano ba yang binebenta mo?”

“Kidney!”

Sad to say, people nowadays are willing to give up part of their bodies either because of a need to make both ends meet or simply grab the opportunity to earn money. But for some, it is for an altruistic reason.

I am grateful to a friend of mine who shared his experiences of being a kidney donor to me, a non-relative. I told him that his recipient is so blessed because he has a healthy lifestyle, is just an occasional drinker and smoker, and active in sports, I could not help but ask him questions and he gave me straightforward answers.

“Why did you do such a noble gesture? His reply was, “somebody needed help then, and I wanted to share and do what I can to extend the life of that person.” I added, “God created two kidneys for a purpose, didn’t you entertain the thought that you or your family might have a need for these in the future?” My friend replied, “I believe in God’s providence. Someday, should my family or I need a kidney, I believe that God will provide if it is really for the best.”
Then I asked, “How old is your recipient?” “She’s in her 60s.” “Wouldn’t you have preferred to give the kidney to a child who has the potential of living a longer life?” “I think the concept of living a longer life is relative, having one day more to live can already be long enough for some. It’s all in God’s hand not ours,” he said.

“What’s the hardest part of being a kidney donor?” “It depends; mentally it’s the pre-operation, and physically, the post operation.”

PRE-OPERATION

Not long afterward, I got a message in my mobile from my donor friend: “If your blood type is “O”, my kidney recipient is again in need of a donor. Please reply if you are willing to donate a kidney.” I immediately answered, “What’s the name of the patient, what hospital is she/he in?” It was a knee-jerk reaction because I was used to donating blood. My friend thanked me and told me that I would undergo a series of tests. After a while I read the text message again, and only then did I realize that my friend was talking about a kidney transplant! I quickly sent a message to him to give me more time to think about it.

I asked my friends, officemates, and relatives, “I’m planning to donate my kidney, what do you think of it?” All of them discouraged me to do so for the simple reason that I’m still young, that I need both kidneys particularly in case a family member might need a transplant in the future. My spiritual adviser told me to discern and pray over it. In my thoughts I recalled my mom who died eight years ago due to the complications of diabetes. During that time, I was not financially capable to sustain her medications. My potential kidney recipient resembled my mommy’s predicament -- weak, sick, and helpless. After my mom passed away, I always had the urge to visit the sick in the hospital and to donate blood whenever there was an opportunity.
After weighing things and asking for God’s grace, I boldly told myself, “I will do it.”

When I finally said yes to my friend’s plea, he told me that the would-be-recipient and her family would like to see me personally. We met up and I told her family about myself –- my work, hobbies, educational and family background. She, on the other hand, talked about her kidney problem history and mentioned that her relatives were not qualified to be a donor. She even told me that a potential kidney donor, who is also not related to her, passed all the screening tests except the psychiatric test. My would-be-recipient and her family were very grateful to me for volunteering to donate my kidney. They welcomed me into their family.
We talked about the series of lab and other exams to determine if I am physically and mentally fit for the procedure. I had two questions: how long the transplant procedure would take and how long the recovery period would be. I was already thinking of my available vacation leaves and that I had to tell my boss about my plan.

For three months, I underwent lab tests at least thrice a month for blood, urine, phlegm, chest, kidney. I also had several psychiatric examinations. I endured the hassle of going back and forth to the clinic, even taking a leave from the office as some of the tests required half day to finish. The last test I had was the renal angiogram that required hospital confinement for the preparation and recovery period. Wow! After 34 years of existence, it was a first time for me to be given an intravenous fluid (dextrose) and to lie down in bed in a hospital as a patient! It was an unforgettable and humbling experience – exposing my private parts to strangers, a hospital staff shaving me for the procedure, nurses putting a condom catheter for my urine. During the angiogram, the doctor injected anesthesia and a very thin tube was inserted through my groin artery. That was very painful! It was a consolation to have doctors, nurses, visitors and my girlfriend reassuring me.
The angiogram ultimately revealed that my left kidney is the choice for the transplant.

DURING THE OPERATION

My girlfriend, close friends, officemates, and the family of the recipient were in solidarity with me given their visits, prayers, and blood donation. This is it! While on my way to the operating room, I was touched by the sincerity of the sister of my kidney recipient. She was running along the hallway just to tell me how grateful she was for my generosity. That boosted my morale more. I was very relaxed and at peace. Inside the operating room, the nephrologist explained that the doctors had to check on the kidney recipient first before they could perform the actual transplant. While waiting, I continued to pray to God for strength, guidance for the doctors, and for the success of our kidney transplant. The doctor came back and told me the good news that the transplant was now going to begin. He held my arms and started telling me stories about the kidney recipient. Then he told me, “Alright we will start the operation”. Immediately an OR staff covered my nose and mouth with a mask and then I went blank…

POST OPERATION

When I woke up I started shouting because of the pain I was feeling and looked for the nephrologist. The doctor held my hands. I told him over and over again, “Doctor, I feel pain on the left side of my stomach, how is my kidney recipient?” I toned down when he told me that she was fine and that he would give me more pain reliever.

During my first few days after the operation, I couldn’t sleep comfortably on either side. Every time I would pee, my caregiver would give me the plastic urinal to measure my urine. The nurses would wake me in wee hours of the morning to check on my vital signs. I had to practice my breathing through an instrument, but the most challenging part was when I needed to cough out the phlegm that may have been retained on my right chest. This was due to my position during the operation where I had to lie on my right side for at least one and half hours.
Every day, I would ask my caregiver what our objective for the day was. For two days I was on a liquid diet because I had to gradually create activity for my intestines. I began to appreciate how delicious gelatin was by slowly putting it my mouth, savoring its taste and flavor, and slowly melting it. Every time my visitors would ask me what I wanted, I would gladly tell them that it was gelatin. After three days, I decided to drink tea to help me pass out gas so I can start with soft liquids. I shifted to drinking more tea and sipping soups. Eventually, I had my first bowel movement after the operation. It was a good sign that my intestines were back to normal and that gave me permission to go on a regular diet -- rice! Imagine how much more I appreciated now the simple things that I didn’t normally pay attention to before. I realized that we should really be thankful for a lot of things that happen to us in our daily lives.

While my body was in agony, my soul was at rest with the Lord through His music, the “Lauds”. It made my sleep in peace and eased the physical pain. I slowly stood up and walked from one corner of my hospital room to the other. Then I started to do the rounds of the hallway and the chapel. One Sunday morning, I attended Mass in the chapel dressed in a hospital gown. A nun approached me and asked, “Are you Fr. Rhey?” I replied, “No, sister”, I gave my name and told her that I am a friend of Fr. Rhey.” I thought she understood me. After introducing the main celebrant of the mass, my face turned red when the commentator said, “Please stand and let’s all welcome Fr. Vic and his co-celebrant Fr. Joey.” To make the matter worse, the Mass was being aired live via the TV channel of the hospital. I felt I was so unworthy to be considered as a priest and even called “Father”.

It’s been five months since the operation. I’m back to work and can walk five rounds at the Ultra oval track field. I’m almost back to normal except for some limitations like no carrying of heavy loads, participating in strenuous activities such as basketball, eating foods rich in uric acid like beans, and drinking beer. My high school classmate would always remind me, “You already have given up all these things when you decided to do the transplant.”

My life’s journey continues and so with my kidney recipient. I’ve been spending time bonding with her --- seeing her smile; happy being with her family; able to work again; and paying forward the blessings that come her way to those who are in need.